Crap Dates: Disastrous Encounters from Single Life by Marsden Rhodri

Author:Marsden, Rhodri [Marsden, Rhodri]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, mobi
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2013-09-09T16:00:00+00:00

#THE DISGRUNTLED DUMPEE

@VandalLiza

He had photos of his ex all over his flat, and on our first night he made me watch Dune because she had a bit part in it.

There are various algebraic formulae that people use to estimate how long it should take someone to get over their last relationship. These tend to be slightly optimistic, because no one wants to hear the brutal truth (e.g., eighteen months of gin and tears) when they’re feeling that low. But while these formulae never spit out a value of “three weeks,” that’s how long it takes some types of broken-hearted singletons to decide that they’re ready to start dating again. You can spot them during a date by their tendency to start crying while muttering “bitch” or “bastard,” as they start using the evening as a comparatively inexpensive form of cognitive behavioral therapy. Also look out for the phrases “But I’m over it now” and “No I’m fine, really,” which they’re not.

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